Not even sure what to title this...

I have been accused of many things, both good and bad, over the last few days. I have been called selfish, unrepentant, in sin, deeply hurtful, someone who is trying to do the right thing, actively studying the word, needing to find true accountability, using facebook for attention, I was told I was pretty, asked for a hug, asked if I was sure, and told that am doing the right things. The past couple days have been confusing. Back to the fish bowl sloshing around. Sunday night I was ready to run. Just pack up the car and go. Had my sister not been with me, I would have.

I have destroyed a man. I know that. I have done unspeakable things. I am a sinful woman and I have deep regret for the life I have lived. In that regret I have turn from those unspeakable things. It is a daily struggle to keep my mind in the clear. A DAILY, moment by moment struggle. I hear a song, I see a person, I hear a saying...it takes me right back there, and I pine for Egypt just like the Israelites. My gut reaction is to shove everyone out of my life and just run to God knowing he is all I need. I have learned that most people who say they don't chose sides........are not being truthful with themselves. How can you not choose sides? I have also come to realize that people are not Prophets and they do not know me as much as they think they do. I am different person. I look at things so much differently. My desires have changed.

I certainly do not have everything figured out. BUT I do know that I am prepared for the consequences of my actions that I do step out on faith on. I have made promises to seek Godly counsel before making decisions, but in the end, they are my decisions.

Feel free to call me out. I have days where I think it was just better when I was lost......

-KM